I wanted to share with you a horror story, that is particularly terrifying because it’s true.
Let me start by saying this:
This is me. More or less. I wear a red hood when I go out because it makes me feel like skipping through a singing forest with a picnic basket full of bunnies while eating a nutella & strawberry sandwich. I love the story of Little Red Riding Hood, also.
SO that’s that. Now, about this: a while ago I actually sat down to watch some TV, which I almost never do. I spend most of my time drawing in my room, slowly getting my skin to the shade of some ghostly deep-sea fish. While I was watching, this popped up:
The director of Twilight is making a Red Riding Hood movie. That right there sent about eight red flags up in my head, but I barely even had time to stay my panic and give it the benefit of the doubt before it crushed my dreams forever.
This movie is going to be terrible.
It is going to be the lumpy mutant baby of Twilight and ‘The Village’ (without the cool blind girl).
But that wasn’t my real problem. I thought about the Twilight mania, and a horrible vision of a gothtard-filled future presented itself to me:
I could see my precious Little Red Riding Hood being peed on by Hot Topic and Twilight.
Then I thought that maybe Little Red would escape the tard fandom. However miss Hardwicke tries, she can’t turn Red into Bella… Right?
My next realization was like a giant dog rolling in dead fish and poop and then rolling onto my hopes.
Hopefully I’ll survive. Either way, I’ll be wearing this red hood like the stubborn turd I am. It may become hard to tell me apart in a crowd after this movie comes out, but I might be the only one wearing actual other colors.
So at least there’s that.
-M-
