The life and times of a unicorn whisperer.
I spent a majority of my third visit to Montana going to therapy. I go to therapy in Montana sometimes because my Dad lives there, and he likes therapy. Yay therapy.
(lol the truth is: I like therapy a lot. It's incredibly helpful.)
Anywaaaays. My flight back was canceled, so I spent an extra night in Montana. The next day, two flights later with one flight to go, the plane was late and I was stranded in Atlanta for a night. I pretty much hated my life by that point.
By day 3 of my delay, NOTHING COULD STOP ME.
NOTHING AT ALL.
I have a friend who is pretty intense. We all love her. I can only imagine what life is like for her boyfriend, Tyson.
This was during my first trip to my Dad and Sister's new Montana home.
I'm walking around the huge foreign house and I've got to get from my sister's room to the rest of everywhere somehow in this labyrinth modeled after 'The Shining', so I take this hallway.
It's not a hallway.
I had torn a ligament. I'd need to stay off of my feet for two weeks at least.
Halloween Horror Nights was that weekend.
Magnolia Fest was the weekend after that.
Of course, that didn't stop me. I live for that stuff. I limped around desperately at both events.
A friend started calling me 'Hobbles.'
I love the Malfoys. Love them. Lucius especially. I have no explanation.
After watching Harry Potter 7.5, nerding up the theater with happiness at seeing the inside of Malfoy Manor, I drew this.
I thought nobody could love Errol Flynn's 1938 version of Robin Hood like I do.
One of them is on your head at all times. I dunno why, but she likes it up there. I love those little poop bombs.
I watched them while she went to some fantastical school trip thing because she's the smart sister.
Once upon a time, my bestest friend and I went to see our school's production of 'Romeo and Juliet'. I was right in the horrible middle of my first ever break-up. Having been dumped, my life was pretty much over, but I humored my friends with these outings.
And so we have Lessons with Karis:
It didn't take me long to find fault with the male lead. He was flopping around the stage in anguish like a giant weepy gelatin.
I thought I'd share this with my bestest friend and we'd laugh together and she'd say "Yes! Who needs men! They all act like that at our age anyway! Let's go eat ice cream and watch silly girl movies after this silly play until you feel better and we can skip away across rainbows!"
I was wrong.
It was silly. But there it was. In about .02 seconds I had relived all of the high drama of a fifteen year old's lovelife and started blubbering like the idiot Romeo on stage.
When the play was over we left, making no eye contact with the people who definitely were disturbed by Romeo's mimic.
What someone should really tell every fifteen year old girl about breakups is that they are going to regret their resulting behavior forever if they don't settle the kettle.
Sometimes I get home looking like Jesse in Toy Story 3 after the daycare kids get her, but it's okay because I finally get to do something that I like. I like practicing the mandolin.
BUT THEN
...The madness sets in.
And because I bottle up all of my freaking out until I unleash a maelstrom on something stupid, fixing the problem doesn't really 'fix the problem.'
So. I'm working on a huge project called the Sparkle Knight. A pink suit of armor covered in over 20,000 Swarovski Crystals.
It was taking forever so my Dad thought it would be a good idea for me to go to their ranch in Montana to work on it.
And overall it wasn't so bad. The first week was pretty cool actually.
BUT THEN
Things they didn't tell me:
.Everybody hunts and strings up their deer where I'd be working
.The air is so dry that it ruins your skin
.There is no sun
.It's like living in the movie "The Shining"
At least I got to start going to therapy and reversing damage done by my everything-you-know-is-wrong life.
Anyways, I am glad to be living in Florida again. It's been a month and my skin has just recovered, and nothing violently offends my delicate vegetarian sensibilities. Probably because Jacksonville is a bit like a stagnant puddle with its little eco systems, all unpleasantly warm and damp.
I'm sure Montana is beautiful in the summer, like I pictured it in the first panel of the comic.
Keep Sparkling!
THESE THINGS ARE INFURIATING.
3.
People implying their wanting something, wanting me to offer, rather than just asking.
2.
Grossly improper English for the sake of being 'gangsta' or some stupid sh*t like that.
1.
My all time berserker rage trigger. Static electricity shocking the crap out of me.
(Yup. That's an accidental 6th finger.)
